Becoming The Pessimist

Now, I would not consider myself a pessimist, nor a cynical person. But I would say that I am starting to become one. I see much beauty in life and wish to see the best for people. I like to make people laugh and I feel somewhat complete with my life. But, there also is a voice in my head preaching that the end is near and people, overall are pretty disgusting and have bad intentions. I am a man of paradoxes and spend a large amount of time pondering why these paradoxes seem so evident in my life. Especially in a society where we are logical and try to keep that equilibrium, it seems baffling that these ideas reside in my brain.

Now it really befuddles me when I think of the nebulous domain of the unconscious. What is my inner body telling me about the world, and more importantly about me?! I don't think I have a discerning personality, I find myself quite lovable at times, and I do have my dark moments. But what really matters? Freudian psychology bases everything about anger and sex. I would say the problem is that I'm lacking angry sex.

Last night i dreamed that they dropped a bomb
The seas ran dry and the winds has calmed
The skyscrapers fell and they all turned to dust
Their skeletons of steel were covered in rust

And everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared
Oh everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared

The colours were drained straight from the sky
And nothing living had survived
The mountains were merely removed from the earth
All silver and gold had lost it's worth

And everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared
Oh everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared

I woke from the dream in a cold, cold sweat
I was full of doubt and deep regret
For suddenly it was all so clear to me
There was nothing left in which to believe

And everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared
Oh everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared