Lesson Learned

You said the we have a lot to learn.
So as we stand, and you give me a kiss goodbye,
I never felt like we had our turn.
Everything cut short, the things we never got to try.
Show me the things they only talk about in stories,
Cause you never cared how much you invested in me.
So when you work it out you'll see where I bled,
Here in my hands, is the heart that I gave.

Look Into The Air.

Watch me as I stair off into the glittering blackness.
I feel the cool breeze of the sky's sigh.
Rhythmically swaying to the direction of the wind,
I inhale filling my lungs.
Short quick exhales as I taste your scent in you mouth.
"It's been too long," I whisper to myself.
With my eyes closed I indulge in the thought of you.
Holding my breath, I try to cure myself from you,
But it's only natural to be afraid.
I inhale, but the night has passed and I look into the air.
To the horizon I see the birth of a new day,
A new day without you.

Day Four.

We float, strangely but naturally.
We've been here before, in another lifetime.
As the gates open ahead I see you smile, "everything will be just fine."
But as we cross the line of life and death,
You shed a tear and fall back into the depths.
I screamed until my lungs ached, but its too late.
So I stare at the angels and faces that surround me.
Their inexpressive faces make me-- cold.
Looking back, these souls were trapped here by their lovers.

This is the concept of love. A beautiful trap. It never lasts forever.
So don't hold on too tightly, or you'll find yourself like me.

Inaction

We stood breathless as the night fell slowly over the city skyline.
The buildings cascading shadows across our faces.
Both of us terrified about whats to come next.
A lapse?
A hiatus?
A break you called it,
I guess thats accurate whether how you look at it.
To us? agreeable. To my heart? Undoubtedly.
You gave me that sense of quantitativeless love.
But now? I guess things change for the better.
But until that light shines bright on my shoulders, I'll remain;

Inaction


October 23, 12:42am

Skin And Bones

its not the same after while, things tend to change without notice,
the trees have all died, and left their skin and bones behind.
something that's caught my mind, it's the though of you and i,
standing in the sunny place in my mind.

we stood through the rain, eyes lock one another prayin' that we felt the same.


To be continued..?

Body In A Box

It's odd. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about death. Its really weird, i try to imagine my funeral and see how sad my parents would be. I'm not a sick person. I don't wish death upon me. I want to live to a decent age and find someone i love and do good stuff like that. But the scenario of me being hit by a huge truck/bus type of vehicle, or the gasoline at the gas pump overflowing, or maybe there is a spot on my body in which if i press, i might just die. Thoughts of being thrown into a pool of house centipedes and me trying to swim out of the swarm, but instead of me climbing out i inhale centipedes and slowly descend to my dead, and the people who recover my body will only be able to identifiable by the mope of black hair atop of a clean cranium.

Again, I'm not a sick person. I have good friends and people i love. Dreams to someday conquer, lovers to meet, and coffee to be made. But still i find myself thinking of my demise. I don't know what is wrong. I don't think i have any major problems. I want to live.

But from all this confusion, i have remade and hopefully revamped my to do list after i am dead. This does not mean i intend to die anytime soon. You just never know. Maybe there will be a meteor from the sky and tactfully hits me in my heart and i slowly bleed myself out, with an irregular heart beat. It can happen. So without further delay. my requests.

Put my body in a box and burn it. After this, you will have the mineral remains of my body. (cool huh?) And with my remains, i want you peoples to put it, throw it, rest it, flush it, what ever it in a special place that we had together. I don't care what it is, or when it was, I'll know (or i might not) it was special. Now since I'm not that big of a person, i only have a few people on the list. Sorry if you re not on there, its most likely personal.


List not here.. on Facebook

Dirty

Don't think I can't hear you.
Whispering the tales of pain and sorrow,
To anyone willing to give an ear to borrow.
You've cut deeply and cut me clean,
Its cut me deep and left me to bleed.
I just wonder on how we all used to be,
So happy, so innocent, so pristine.
Now my soul seems empty and dirty,
Ever since you left me at three thirty.
Every now and then may come a thrill,
But with it comes your crippling chill.

Our Masked Lover

Standing and waiting for the call,
Starving and craving for the time.
Eyes closed as we descend from our fall.
Waiting for eternity at the back of the line.
Free fall to the ground below and land in a world so free.
Come back, cause there's no breath or life in me.
The night we found our bodies in the mask of night,
Was the moment my life took a turn and took flight.

Becoming The Pessimist

Now, I would not consider myself a pessimist, nor a cynical person. But I would say that I am starting to become one. I see much beauty in life and wish to see the best for people. I like to make people laugh and I feel somewhat complete with my life. But, there also is a voice in my head preaching that the end is near and people, overall are pretty disgusting and have bad intentions. I am a man of paradoxes and spend a large amount of time pondering why these paradoxes seem so evident in my life. Especially in a society where we are logical and try to keep that equilibrium, it seems baffling that these ideas reside in my brain.

Now it really befuddles me when I think of the nebulous domain of the unconscious. What is my inner body telling me about the world, and more importantly about me?! I don't think I have a discerning personality, I find myself quite lovable at times, and I do have my dark moments. But what really matters? Freudian psychology bases everything about anger and sex. I would say the problem is that I'm lacking angry sex.

Last night i dreamed that they dropped a bomb
The seas ran dry and the winds has calmed
The skyscrapers fell and they all turned to dust
Their skeletons of steel were covered in rust

And everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared
Oh everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared

The colours were drained straight from the sky
And nothing living had survived
The mountains were merely removed from the earth
All silver and gold had lost it's worth

And everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared
Oh everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared

I woke from the dream in a cold, cold sweat
I was full of doubt and deep regret
For suddenly it was all so clear to me
There was nothing left in which to believe

And everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared
Oh everything i loved and feared
Had all at once disappeared

Euphemisms

In a culture where the masses strive to be sophisticated and word-weary, the public use euphemisms to be "politically sensitive" and aspire to make society look a tad bit less... fucked up. It seems to me that everything seems to be a little more fucked up the more we use euphemisms. Things appear to be a more fake; it gives a nebulous face-value.

Consequently, this word-play ultimately befuddles the true value of understanding word, whether when or how to use them. I have no fucking idea when to use certain type of words. Some words might infringe upon others beliefs or whatnot, but when did things get so complicated? I feel so daft for not knowing what vocabulary to use anymore; it’s gotten pretty ridiculous. In the cosmic world wordsmithing, I am lost for words.

I cringe when people use terminology like, “the ‘oriental people’ eat a lot of... whatever.” The word oriental is never used. I mean, the only place I can think of is on ramen packets. I feel like a packet of ramen when people use "oriental" in place as plain old "Asian." I hate it how people use euphemisms for sex. I mean, yeah, it's not something you should do in the park, but it is human nature, and calling it "intercourse" seems a bit, how can I put it, retarded? Simply put, having sex, fucking, getting your sex on is all fine by me. Let’s drop this absurdity, and get back to simplicity.

Sure things are going to be different, but whatthehey, wouldn’t it be nice to just speak your mind? Now, I’m not saying we should be asses, I’m just sick of handpicking everything I want to say… Fuck.